Odd Dream

I know it can be the most boring thing in the world to listen to somebodies stupid fucking dream.
It's always like:
"then I was talking to my mom, but she didn't look like my mom she looked like a pony...but somehow I knew it was my mom...oh! then I was floating...and there was a squirell!"
And you want to flay open your wrists just to make it stop...

So I had this dream last night.
I was on the phone ordering some stuff that had nothing to do with God or tea.
(hang with me that will make sense in a minute)
The lady asked me

Her: would you like to go to heaven?
Me: umm, yeah I guess.
Her: are you on our website?
Me: yes.
Her: Ok, do you see the little picture of the travel mug?
Me: yes.
Her: that travel mug comes with 4 teabags and it has the serenity prayer on the side. If you make yourself 4 separate cups of tea, and say the prayer you will go to heaven. Oh and the tea it's called "serenatea" get it?
Me: no kidding? What if I drink the tea but don't say the prayer? Do I still get into Heaven?
Her: I don't know....I would say the prayer just in case?
Me: Yeah, I'd hate to spend the 10 bucks and then fuck it up and not get into heaven.
Her: That's what I'm thinking......so, do you want to take advantage of this special offer?
Me: yeah, why not.
Her: Would you like to upgrade to the larger size for only $2.00 more?
Me: oh shit, I can supersize my heaven? Do I get into a better heaven if I get the bigger one? Like instead of just plain old heaven it's heaven but with strippers too?
Her: um I think it's the same heaven...I mean, heaven is perfect and you can't have anything better than perfect, right?
Me: so no strippers?
Her: umm...I don't know.
Me: so what would be the advantage of getting the upgrade if I can't supersize my heaven?
Her: well I'm not supposed to tell you this but the regular travel mug is only 12 ounces, so lets say you wanted to put a can of soda in there it would be totally full ...but if you get the larger one? You can have ice and the soda.
Me: ok, seems worth it.

Then I woke up.