Cell phone maladies

Whenever I see 2 people in a car and they are both talking on cell phones I fantasize that they are calling each other.
Part of what fosters this is that it is almost always a young middle class white couple...I guess I just naturally assume they are very cold and passive aggressive and so to communicate they need to insert a layer between themselves to say what is on their mind.
Kind of like how your parents would say something to you but really they were talking to each other?
"Well, if daddy thinks dinner should be ready by 6:30 maybe he should skip having a drink at the bar with his pals and come straight home and cook it himself"
"why should daddy have to do that when mommy sits on her ass all day watching Oprah?"
But they don't have the kids to talk through yet so they use the cell phones?

" Hey honey, I was just noticing that you kind of ran that red light back there ? Do you think you could get us to the movies without killing us?"
"Thanks sweetie, I'll keep that in mind...hey while we're noticing things? Have you noticed you've got the heat in the car up to like 100 degrees? I'm thinking this is a Ford Escape not a fucking sauna."
" Sure, and I'm thinking that maybe it just seems hot to you because you had to do 3 shots of Jaeger before we left the house. Who does that , really?"

Also, while we're talking about automotive-cell phone behavior?
I have come up with yet another syndrome/condition.
It's called Cell-Phone Tourettes.
Have you ever been talking to someone and they are on the phone and driving at the same time and they say something along the lines of :
"Yeah, we are going to be at Moms around 4 and then... SURE JUST COME ON OVER MOTHER FUCKER...then we'll eat around 5"
and you're thinking "wait, what?"
So you say, "what did you just say to me?"
And they're like, "oh this guy just cut me off"

that's Cell-Phone Tourettes