Gaydar

Becca and I attended an information session for a Phd program she really wants to enroll in at the Morgridge College of Education.
One of the administrators that we got to sit down and talk to was a guy I would guess to be in his mid 40's. Nice understated suit, stylish glasses...and a nose stud.
A dainty little little nose stud like a woman would wear.
I didn't see it at first because I was hypnotized by a bronze bust very near the table we were sitting at. It was a bust of the man that the building we were sitting in was named after. Not terribly notable except for the fact that the man had an owl coming out of his right shoulder. Not on, coming out of .
"What the hell kind of half owl/half man hybrid had they named this building after?" I kept wondering.
So, it wasn't until the light caught the stud in his nose that I noticed it. The strange thing was I wasn't getting any kind of gay vibe at from him. Weird.
Later we were in the Coach store and I brought it up.
Becca said " I just think he's very Metro. I have good Gaydar and he wasn't setting it off."
I said, "I do too, and you're right no bells were going off."
Just then a smartly dressed young man flounced over and asked if we needed any help. I leaned close to Becca's ear and said under my breath, " beep...beep...beep"
I have to give it to her she held it together pretty well until he left then she turned to me, "Right! That guy was setting it off!"
Later that night we went out to dinner and the nice young man serving us was obviously gay as well. While he was talking to us I stared at Becca and watched her battle to keep from smiling too widely. I was really tempted to beep at her again...but it would have been odd behavior ...ok, I know I'm known for odd behavior at times, but frankly I didn't want to make the kid uncomfortable. He was, after all, about to bring me plates of food.
After he left she wheeled on me,
" All I could hear while he was talking was your voice in my head saying 'beep...beep..beep'. "



ps: I never found out why the man had an owl coming out of his arm. I went over and read the little sign under the bust and it said, "The bust of William Driscoll has been moved to another location until further notice" When clearly it had not.
pps: further study reveals he was a zoologist ...which still doesn't explain an owl coming out of his fucking shoulder instead of being on it!

The new Era

The day after the election I had a customer buying a phone. The price was $100 minus a $50 mail in rebate.
I told her about the rebate but as always happens only the lowest number registered.
(when I say "we ordered your phone and it will be here 3 to 5 business days" the customer hears "I swear on my sweet grammy's grave that your phone will be here in no more than 3 days, regardless of holidays, weekends, fires, floods and tornadoes)
So she is staring at this receipt, pen poised, and she just can't bring herself to sign it because for the life of her she can't figure out how $50 became $107.35 after taxes.
I finally decide to help her out, I say matter of factly
"Taxes"
She looks up at me with a question on her face.
I say, "they warned us Obama would raise our taxes....but 100% seems a bit much to me."
She looked stunned for just a second and then I said, "the mail in rebate?"
She and her daughter cracked up.

I have found in sales if you can scare the crap out of the customers with something like 100% taxes and then reassure them it's just a mail in rebate that you may or may not get in 6 months it makes for a much better customer service experience.