Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I don't hang out with those guys no more

I was just thinking back to a time I was riding in a car with friends; people I would most likely not hang out with now.
I guess maybe some of those friends have grown as I have ...but I know some of them haven't.
It's not possible to have been that guy ....and now be any different.
This was when I was in college. Most of my friends weren't in college they were people I worked with at restaurants and bars. People I met shooting pool. (I have shot a disproportionate amount of pool in my life. I had a regulation table in my living room. You know how if you played too much Tetris you had Tetris dreams? Yeah, well I had pool dreams.)
So, we were riding in my friends '70 something GTI. She had a sticker on the rearview mirror "stupid people shouldn't breed"
I'm in the backseat with Shaun. Shaun is chemically-induced stupid. Not just in the momentary sense. In the permanent sense as well. Hanging out with Shaun is like babysitting an ADHD first grader that can legally drink. He looks at the sticker, "Yeah, stupid people shouldn't breathe!"
"How many kids do you have Shaun?" I know he has a kid that he doesn't see. He knows it's better if he's not around.
"one, dude. That sticker is wrong in one way...my kid is pretty smart. Way smarter than me."
Then he does something weird....he sort of rubs his hands over his face, like he's washing his face, but with no water....then he does a sort of all over body shudder, like a dog shaking water coming out of the lake...and he says, "Man I did a lot of acid"
Everyone in the car is thinking the same thing, "oh shit. When did Shaun get a hold of some acid?"
This could be bad. Shaun is unstable enough already.
I should mention, when I got in the car I noticed he was wearing a plaid shirt over a plaid shirt, plaid shorts, plaid fishing cap...plaid fucking Converse hightops. I said..."um is it plaid day?"
"Naw...I was just listening to the Bosstones today"
I say," Where the fuck did you get acid...when did you take it?"
"No, I just meant in my life I've taken a lot of acid"
I reached into the half rack of Henry's between my feet and pulled one out.
(In Portland, Henry Weinhards ale is the house beer and a "half rack" is the term for how they come. Twelve shortneck bottles arranged 4x3 in an almost cube shaped green box. I remember one time walking down the street, having just come off the train, headed to a party, dangling a half rack. A homeless guy asked me for change, I broke open the half rack and gave him a beer instead..he said "God bless you")
I cracked the beer and just as I went to take a drink Kelly swerved for some reason and the bottle clinked my front tooth and chipped it.

That chip is mostly worn away, and I can't even feel it with my tongue . I don't hang out with those guys no more.

2 comments:

Ann Onymous said...

Didn't he say, "Stupid people shouldn't breathe"? That's the way I remembered the story...

Don't kill me Michael...

michael said...

thank you, I went back and fixed it. (I originally had him correctly reading the sticker as "breed" not "breathe"