The Secret Thumb

It is my firm belief that if you want me to keep a secret for you, the first step is that you need to tell me it's a secret.
When my brother was born he had an extra thumb.
He was a 'miracle baby' so it was cool, I guess.
(my step mom was not supposed to be able to conceive but then along comes The Great Wazoo)
So there we are, he's 5 I'm 15, and he is looking at this tiny scar on his hand.

Waz: you know what's weird? I have this scar, but I don't know how I got it.
Me: that's where they cut off your extra thumb dude

Hang on.
At this point, I am just about the ultimate prick older brother. I love my 2 younger siblings but they were keeping me from being a spoiled only child and so they had to pay for the offense, sorry.
I was a benevolent but harsh older brother.
I protected them, but I had no time for their shit.
So , clearly he is not about to believe me when I tell him he showed up with an extra digit.
So, Waz runs to his mom, "did I have an extra thumb!?"
Michael!
Look..... I didn't know it was a secret.

Then, a year or so later?
My sister and Waz and I are chilling around an inflatable pool or water filled bucket or something, and I say " do you ever wonder what Janon and Joey are up to?"
Waz says "who are Joey and Janon?"
"Ummm....
Hey, look...
Ok between my mom and your mom? Our dad was married to this woman Joelee?"

Nuh-unh!
Eh...yeah.
Moooom!....

Michael!
Yeah.
You want to have everybody keep your secret? Tell everybody it's a secret.
Oh...and I am pretty sure Christina ruined the whole Santa Claus thing.