I’m always gratified when one of my friends or family calls and asks for recipe advice or help. I’m a pretty good cook and it’s nice when people look to me for help in that area.
A friend of mine called from WalMart and asked for some tips on au gratin potatoes. I pulled up a recipe for her on the computer. (I’ve never made them before so I couldn't be of much help on my own)
She asked for some ideas of what to serve with it and I suggested green beans.
Is it just me or do green beans always show up whenever ham and au gratin potatoes are around?
Do you think ham is all like, “oh great here comes fuckin’ green beans” and then green beans is all “hey guys what’s up, why didn’t you tell me you were going to be here?” and au gratin is like “oh ,hey green beans….um, you didn’t get my voicemail? Weird”
Anyway.
I gave her a recipe for green beans: Garlic, sauteed in red wine and then tossed with some bacon and the green beans. Bam!
But she wanted to leave out the red wine…and the bacon.
Um, if you are deleting %50 of my recipe then it’s no longer my recipe. Lets say you make some lasagna for your kids:
“Mom, what is this?”
“lasagna”
“but it’s just noodles and ricotta”
“hey if you don’t like it blame Michael it’s his recipe.”
Whatever.
I can only impart the knowledge. What people do with it is their choice.
I made a few adjustments to the au gratin recipe and then emailed it to my friend. I don’t have an oven at my apartment (long story) so I can’t try it out myself…I’ll include it here. If anyone wants to make up a batch and tell me how it is that would be great.


BEST-EVER SCALLOPED POTATOES BITCHES!

4 medium potatoes
milk
shredded cheddar
1 large onion
garlic powder
oregano or some of the "sticky icky" if ya' got it

Scallop potatoes by slicing width-wise to create very thin circles. Thinly slice onion and separate into thin strips. Dance around like a fucking maniac to your favorite Next jam.
Layer alternately: potatoes, onion, cheddar, dash of spices; repeat until casserole dish is 3/4 full. Or until you feel that the dish has "had enough" Top with cheddarnipples.
Pour milk into casserole until it's about 1/2 filled up the sides. Pour remaining milk into a shoe
Bake at 350°F for about 1 1/2 hours until potatoes are tender and sensitive. (sometimes longer for thicker-cut potatoes). Test with fork, let sit for 10 minutes before serving.
Leave a small portion on your back porch for the Gypsies.

I hope she appreciated the change I made.