One big ass balloon story

Turbo and I were driving along one day and I saw a balloon floating high above a new housing development. I made a comment "look at that big balloon"
Turbo wasn't impressed.
I tried to make him understand that it happened to be a huge fucking balloon.
No dice.
We went back and forth a bit as to whether or not it was actually all that big until I finally got fed up and I stopped the car and got out and began hauling this balloon in....
Oh, for perspective?
We were in a Honda Crx...in case you haven't heard? That's a tiny little car.
I wanted turbo to see the balloon looming, towering over our car so he would see how big the balloon is because, honestly, you can't let a 8 year old win the argument when the subject is a big balloon.
As I'm hauling in my catch a man comes out onto his balcony which is less than 50 feet from where we are, and yells at me, " hey that's not yours!"
Oh, really? I lost a giant fucking balloon and I thought maybe this was mine....
So I yell back "Ok, thank you" and ignore him.

Super Uptight Suburban White Guy: I'm calling the police !"
Me: And telling them what?!
SUSWG: ......
Me: You gonna tell them that a guy is attempting to steal a balloon that is twice the size of his car?
SUSWG:......
Me: or maybe you could say that someone is attempting to hide a CRX inside a giant balloon?
SUSWG: That's not yours!
Me: You said that already!
The guy goes into the house. I get the balloon down next to our car so he can appreciate this ginormous balloon and Turbo has the absolute appropriate Turbo response in this moment, "Huh...that is a big balloon. Can we go get pizza now?"

If I thought for one second that the police would have actually shown up I would have stuck around.
I can't tell you how much I would have loved to have had that conversation.