Im'a Get Fired!

I had the most awesome meeting today.
I am on the hit list at work. I have a big target on my back. It's not because I don't do my job well. To be honest at the expense of sounding immodest I am above average at what I do. At my current employer? I am above, above average.
I work for a dealership that is run by people who have never worked at another dealership. Most of the sales staff have only sold for this dealer.
Consequently, they don't know how a real dealership is run.
If you took 3/4 of the staff (management and sales combined) and forced them to work at another dealership most would not survive a month.
It makes it hard for those of who know how a dealership is supposed to work.
Whatever.
So myself and another salesman (Harry) are constant targets. It's stupid but it is what it is.
(it would take me quite a while to explain how absurd my work situation is. I won't bore you with it)
I will introduce the characters first then tell you about this most amazing meeting.

Steve.
He is the Dealer Principal. That means head honcho. He is invested heavily in the dealership....but has only ever worked at this dealership, he has never sold cars and once referred to the piece of paper that we negotiate deals on as a 3 square...um Steve? It's a 4 square.
Ooooh I'm sorry the correct answer was 4 square.
( 4 squares: down payment, the price of our car, what we are giving you for your trade, your payment. 4 square.industry standard)
Robert.
GSM (general sales manager) Oh man, where do I start? He has been at the dealership for 20 years. Before that he was a manager at a local pub (Meadow Muffins or something). He is 1/2 black 1/2 white and all gay.
His (black) father never really acknowledged him and therefore he: identifies as a white man while not totally looking it, loathes his black side and has daddy issues. Working for him is like working for a menopausal woman...except instead of mood swings between random bitchiness and mothering, it's swings from bitchiness to cattiness...with some shitty, completely arbitrary sarcasm thrown in.
I have to be frank, he's really not as much fun as he sounds.
Chris.
Sales manager and all around punk ass bitch....or trick punk ass...or punk bitch trick....I can't ever nail it down. Doesn't matter. He has no real part in this meeting other than to randomly say "wow" to indicate how much he disagrees with someone. You call him out on a lie and his only response is "wow". He's a punk, forget him.
Harry.
My brother from another mother. He's Harry James Bitch!
Harry and I are the Sith lords of the dealership. I will explain that further later.
Harry is a black guy about my age with about my level of tolerance for stupidity. He is an old school car dog like myself.

Ok.
Yesterday Harry left early because he felt like it. (yes he flaunted the rules, he was wrong)I left 30 minutes after my shift ended...but I had shown up 45 minutes late. We both got in trouble for leaving early.

So, our morning meeting starts out with Robert asking " what is this power these 2 hold over you?"
I lean over to Harry and say "the force, duh."
"why do you let them do things that get everyone in trouble? Why do they constantly break the rules and then we have to make stricter rules and nobody ever gets mad at them? What power do they have over you?"
Harry says to me, "I'm Darth James bitch"
Robert passes out new contract resolutions stating that no one shall ever arrive late, or leave early under any circumstances yada yada yada.
I didn't read the damn thing.
Harry says, "we're Sith Lords, they're scared of us."
The reality is Harry and I do the same shit everyone else does....but we have the targets on us.
Harry signed one of his resolutions "Darth James" It was my idea, but I had already signed my stuff.
Oh well, I'll sign my termination papers Darth Miller.
Harry and I are told to stay after the meeting.

Harry brings out his little mp3 recorder and lays it on the table.
(this guy kills me, he walks around with a recorder)
Steve sees the recorder and says "are you recording?"
Harry, "yeah, I have a statement to make"
Steve leaves the room and comes back with this bulky recording rig of his own. Tape deck, wires, mini- boom mike.
This is the moment that things got surreal. It was like in a movie.
Steve starts to set up his rig. He realizes he can't plug in where we are. We all have to pick up and move 4 seats over. Now we are all shuffling about picking up our water glasses moving coats etc. Now he is fussing with wires plugging shit in. He can't get the mike right, the wires are tangled...it's quiet and awkward.
He's plugged in now.
push record:"check 1,2,3. Check 1,2,3"
Stop, rewind, play.
....nothing.
rewind, push record:"check 1,2,3.Check1,2,3"
Stop,rewind,play.
....nothing.
Robert " I think you are recording on the blank part of the tape"
Chris "there's a leader that you can't record on?"
By now I am trying hard not to look at Harry because I'm afraid we'll both start laughing.
Woody Allen could not have written a more fabulously absurd and awkward moment.
Steve gets his machine going and then stares at Harry.
Harry stares at him.
"You had a statement?"
Hang on. I am about to tell you the first few lines of this little pow-wow. I won't bother fleshing out the rest. The first few lines will tell you all you need to know.

Harry, " First, Michael shouldn't even be here. His only crime is guilt by association. Second I am being discriminated against because I'm black. I don't discriminate against Robert because he's a black-gay-uncle tom."
I jumped out of my seat, "Oh shit! In your Face!"
Ok I didn't say that....but man I wanted to.
Lets recap quickly.
Harry just called our boss a black-gay-uncle tom, to his face.
Best Meeting Ever.
I'm pretty sure Harry and I are getting fired.
SFW
At 10 minutes before the end of our shift Harry and I get called into the office and are told we have to talk to Steve before we leave. Harry tells me "at 3pm I'm out. He has 10 minutes."
3 pm rolls around and Harry leaves.
I wait 10 minutes before I walk into the office and tell Robert I was supposed to be meeting someone at 3 ( which I was) he calls Steve. Steve says give me 15 minutes.
Nope. I figure if Steve wants to fire me he can come in on his day off and fire me, I'm not waiting around a half hour for him to fire me.

To quote the Ghetto Boys?
Damn it feels good to be a gangster.