While we're still in Walmart?

I had no choice, OK? It's the closet store to my work.
I wanted to buy a single bagel and some smoked salmon cream cheese.
Yeah, fat chance brother.
So instead I got some Laughing Cow and a lovely loaf of Asiago bread...but it had to be sliced.
While I'm waiting to have it sliced, I happen to turn my gaze to a rack behind me.
Oh, cream cakes!
Where the fuck did cream cakes come from? Did we grow up on cream cakes? I never saw these things until a couple of years ago...
anyway...
I let my gaze alight and what is the flavor of cream cake I happen to notice?
Cherry.
Hm, sounds nice....but wait it's Jelly Belly Cherry...
and underneath that? Blue Berry Jelly Belly....
so what we have here is a cake that is an imitation of a jelly bean flavor, which is an imitation of a real flavor?
WTF?
then I notice some more delicious flavors of cream cake
( stick with me here).
...Orange Crush..oh neat! An imitation of a soda pop which is an imitation of a real flavor....and then 7up cream cake!
why not?! we've pretty much jumped the shark at this point....
then I see the final abomination.
Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper cream cake.

and we wonder why we are statistically the shortest & fattest country in the industrialized world?