I'm Fucking Old

I'm so fucking old I just got carded trying to buy a bottle of beer ....and it pissed me off.
I'm serious.
And here is the sad part...I wasn't even going to drink the beer!
I was making a pot of chili, and I thought some beer would give the chili some complexity......so I walked over to get the bottle of beer and she said do you have your ID and I said, "no, I'm 38"
"well...at this hour we need to get ID..."
Um...it's 11pm? I certainly don't look any younger at this hour. Catch me around 10 am, perhaps when I've just been to the gym? I may pass for mid 20's around that time...
Yes, I don't look my age, but surely, at no point during the day do I EVER look 20 years old, right?
I mean, does this lady have fucking cataracts?
(is this some bizarre new phenomenon I'm not aware of? at 11pm people under 20 who tragically look like a 38 year old who could pass for a 28 year old go out and try to buy a single bottle of beer?)
I try to finesse her, "hey, I was born in the 60's...Do I really need to walk all the way back to my apartment" (winning boyish smile)
no dice.
fuck that woman. dammit.
so I get in my car and drive my ID back to the store and slap it down on the counter.
the guy in line gives me a nasty look.
fuck you and fuck her!
I have been momentarily inconvenienced!
this act of aggression will not stand!
I have never been so annoyed at being carded...

(my impotent revenge? I paid in coins! that'll show the bitch)
you know what? when I'm president king?
this bitch........she will be allowed to keep her job at the quickie mart....It just occurred to me she's a middle aged white woman working at the quickie mart....no revenge is needed in this case....carry on...