What did my brain just say?

I was in the store the other day and I noticed this young lady in the produce department and my brain said

"She'd be cute if it wasn't for her face"

wait, what?

So now my brain is all backtracking...

"what I meant is she has a cool sense of style as far as her clothes, the haircut is nice, she's got a nice body....but the face? Not so much"



Oh, and while we're in the supermarket?

Have you ever accidentally store-stalked someone? Every time you turn into a different isle that person is there? Then just when you start to feel weird about it you get to lets say the shampoo isle and you think "thank God I don't need shampoo, I can break this pattern of accidental-store-stalking"....and she's skipped the same damn isle and oh here we are together again....
and it's not like you can start talking to this person and explain away the accidental-store-stalking...
"hey looks like we have the same shopping rhythm. heh heh..." that will just confirm her suspicion that she is being followed around the store....
I had this happen to me the other day kind of....actually it was worse. I was at Whole Foods with Turbo (who is dangerously close to being re-nicknamed Slo-Mo)
I was standing 10 feet away from the car looking back waiting for him to get himself together and get out of the car.
On the other side of our car a young lady was loading groceries into her Jeep. I realized she was looking at me all of a sudden.
My first thought, "she has gorgeous hair"
My second thought "oh crap! she thinks I'm staring at her"
so I said "come on turbo lets go"
(a part of me wanted to yell something extremely expository like "come on Turbo, my blond haired son, get out of that blue Miata which is sitting next to the black Jeep")
Then 8 hours later we're at the supermarket by our house. (which is pretty much on the other side of town)
I'm intently trying to find the Perfect red bell pepper or something equally important. I glance up in time to see a woman walking in the door.
My first thought was "she has gorgeous hair"
My second thought was "oh crap! it's the girl from Whole Foods"
I then spent the rest of the shopping trip skulking about the store trying to avoid having this woman catch me.
It was harrowing.