Today Was A Good Day ( yes I am quoting an Ice Cube song)

It was a good day today because Chris revealed himself to be a pirate.

I should back up a little.
Chris is one of 2 new guys (the other is Marvin, a black dude who talks with a bit of a lisp so to me he always sounds like Tim Meadows character The Ladies Man...so of course I like Marvin.)
Chris is black too...but he's one of the whitest black dudes I've ever met.
But of course I'm too white to point that out...fortunately Hamlet has had a great time of pointing out how 'white' Chris is.
Oh....have I ever mentioned Hamlet? First, this is not a pseudonym. Hamlet is a Dominican guy from New York. Hamlet looks,acts, dresses and talks like the absolute cliche of what you think a Dominican guy from New York should be. I think he's awesome because he says thing to me like "watchoo need nigga?" if I'm trying to ask him a question. Plus? He's a Dominican guy from New York named Hamlet!
Don't even try to deny it; that's awesome.
So, to give you an example of how Hamlet points out that Chris is white despite the color of his skin, yesterday I happened to walk into the office and Hamlet , Chris and a couple of other people were there...I walk in as Hamlet says to Chris, "c'mon muthafucka, name one other member of the Wu Tang Clan besides Inspecta Deck" and Chris says, "umm lets see, there's Inspecta Deck..." and Hamlet turns to me, points and says, "Nigga, name somebody from Wu Tang."
I say, without hesitating, "The Rza, The Gza, Old Dirty Bastard, Ghostface Killa, Method Man..." He interrupts me looks at Chris, "see bitch, Michael blacker than you!"
Then he turns to me and says, "knowin' Wu Tang don't make you black......you know Bobby Digital?"
To which I respond, "I'm vegetarian, bitch, I don't eat the beef. Wait 'till you go to sleep I'll pull ya' teef."
Which is a Bobby Digital lyric....Bobby Digital is the alter ego of The Rza....but I digress.

So. I'm blacker than Chris...who is technically black... ( one time he mentioned his wife is black and somebody said "a mixed marriage? Nice!")

What the fuck was I talking about?
Oh yeah, Chris is a pirate.
He comes in wearing a belt that has a skull and cross bones belt buckle.
I'm serious.
So of course we all spend most of the day making great sport of his piratical belt buckle. We start sentences with 'argh' and 'avast'
(holy shit, spell check was fine with the word "piratical"
...anyway)
But, the best part of all the fun we had at his expense?
(and believe me, we had great fun. At one point he asked me, "what am I supposed to do?" I said, "I don't know, invent a time machine and go back to the moment in which you put that fucking belt on and then stop yourself?....Or at the very least, maybe buy a mirror for the house?")
Ok. He was about to leave. Marvin had a very cute young customer. I asked her if she had ever seen a real pirate. She , of course, was all "what the fuck?"
I summon Chris over, he shows her the belt buckle and she says....
wait for it...
"where'd you get that, Hot Topic?"
Yes!
Nice!
I couldn't help myself, I high-fived her.
Those who know me know I'm not a high-fiven' kind of guy...but that was exceptional.
She did not pause, did not think about it.
"Where'd you get that, Hot Topic?"
I looked at the woman who came with her, I said, "M'am, is this your daughter?" she said yes and I said, (with absolute sincerity) "you must be so proud."