Crappy Commercials

I just saw an ad for a TV show called "The Years Best Commercials"
Oh yeah? What about the bad ones?

I just saw one for psoriasis medication.
It starts out with a woman dressed like a nurse. She says:
"If you have psoriasis, then you know how it feels; the itching, the burning."
Well of course you know how it feels! That's the nature of experience, right?
If you have a condition then it stands to reason that you would be familiar with the symptoms, no?
"If you've ever been kicked in the crotch then you know how it feels"
...umm yeah lady, I just got kicked in the crotch, it hurts! Of course I know how it feels you idiot.

I think I can write commercials. Check this out:
"If you like beer then drink Miller, because it's totally beer."
Bam! one down.
Let's do another, ok?
"If you like movies with explosions then go see the new Die Hard movie. Tons of explosions, dude!"
Man this is easy.

Or what about this WHOPPER freak out BS ?
It's on the long side so I'll tell you to fast forward to Minute 4:08...is that Norm MacDonald?!
I hate this thing because it shines a bright light on how incredibly lame Americans are.
One guy is so disturbed by the lack of Whoppers that he lets his toddler wander off while he tries to understand the magnitude of what just happened to him.
NO Whopper? You madmen! Are you trying to tear the space time continuum?!
If I walk into the BK and they say there is no Whopper?
Here's how that conversation goes: "oh, no Whopper? Ok ummm lets go with the baco-cheddar-mushroom burger?"
Definitely not:
"I want to speak with your manager! This is an outrage!"
And it's not like BK can't come up with a cool commercial right?
Remember this psychedelic masterpiece? I am still reeling from that one. As my sister might say after seeing something like that ..I have no response to that.
(and for the record? That is the only thing Hootie has ever done that I have taken even the slightest bit of pleasure from)

Now here is a good burger commercial BK !
Ya' Heard?
"In anatomy class you got a butt minus"
awesome.

The sad thing is those are the best white rappers around right now.