This fucking town....

Or I would have bitch slapped a guy tonight.

I don't know what it is with people here.
I had 2 people verbally confront me in the last few days.
On Sunday I was coming out of Barnes and Noble. There was a woman in front of me.
She walked out door number one, I followed.
She walked out of door number two, again, I followed.
As we got out side she spat over her shoulder, "you're welcome "
I was taken aback.
"for what?"
"I held the door for you"
"no, you walked out the door and I followed you."
"I'm trying to set an example for my daughter"
I looked at the girl, about 8 years old, "well she's sure showing you how to be rude to strangers"
I really wanted to say, "you know physically you're attractive...until you open your mouth, then you're quite ugly"
I refrained, but still WTF?
Even if she had held the door for me? What kind of lesson is it for your kid that you demand people thank you when you do something nice?
I didn't know we did things like holding a door for someone simply because we want to be thanked.
Whatever.
Then tonight I was going to the supermarket ( I still needed food after the Whole Foods fiasco)
As I was pulling into the parking lot. Two guys on bikes were coming towards me. I judged that I had plenty of time so instead of stopping for Lance Armstrong and Greg Lemonde....or whoever these ass clowns were pretending to be...
I would at this moment like to point out, this was two middle aged, middle class guys on bikes dressed in matching outfits.
They were both sporting the official jersey AND shorts of some cycling team.
Ok, when I was in my teens and rabidly into cycling, did I wear cycling shorts?
yes.
Did I wear a cycling jersey?
On long rides, yes.
Did I ever wear the team uniform of my favorite cyclist?
hell no. and if my friend ever showed up wearing the exact same damn clothes?
well, one of us has got to change.
I just picture them leaving the house:
"OK, this time I'm Lance Armstrong, who are you going to be?"
"no fair! you always get to be Lance Armstrong! Why don't you be Greg Lemonde and I'll be Lance."
"oh, you want me "kick it old school" (he nerdily puts air quotes around his words)
"well fine I'll be Eddie Merckx "
"No way! You might as well say, 'oh I'm Jesus'

anyway, this jackoff turns the corner and follows me into the parking lot.
He pulls up next to me and says something.
I turn down the stereo and say "I'm sorry, my music was too loud, what did you say to me?"
he rattles off my license plate and says "reckless driving !" and then oh so dramatically whips out a cell phone from his fanny pack.
"Thanks Lance" I say.
I park and start walking to the store and there he is on his cell. He jestures with the phone as if to say "see"
I say, "have at it Deputy Dog"
I was tempted to walk over to him and say "do you want to perform the citizens arrest now, or can I go buy some groceries?" and of course I would place my hands together as if to be cuffed.
I am glad I'm 38 and I just went and bought my food.
Less than 10 years ago, I might have gone over and pushed him off the fucking bike.

I really think a big part of the problem is this town is so insular and coddled.
In Los Angeles if that woman pulls that "you're welcome" crap? She gets told "shut up bitch" and the next time she feels like opening her snotty little yap she thinks twice.
Same thing with the guy on the bike. Pick any city of any size, a true urban center?
He pulls this "you're reckless!" garbage?
Odds are the offender will politely wait for him to get off the phone and then say "so, the police on the way? No? Oh they have actual crimes to attend to instead of listening to your bitch ass? Ok well BLAP! there's your black eye"
I'm not saying that the right way to handle it would be violence, but the people in this town feel as if they can just shoot their mouth off and get in your buisness, when really they should mind their own fucking buisness.

I'm glad I didn't go have words with the guy, I might have a warrant for "mean talking with intent to grievously hurt feelings"

This fucking town.