A Jacket update

I forgot about the Jr. High factor at my work.
I forgot when I got back into the car business that car dealerships are this funky combination of a bunch of weird characters who love to make fun of people doing anything differently.

For example: we have a guy whose name is listed as "Captain" Ed on his cards...
because he lived on a boat in Seattle for 8 years... Not because he was the host of a local morning kids show...
Which is a very good thing considering he is a highly inappropriate individual.
Ed and I had a conversation regarding the fact that he once had a girlfriend who had a g- string made out of the same material as the shoes I was wearing.

Suede shoes. (black not blue)

What ensued was a very disturbing conversation about the non-breathable nature of suede and the extreme need for breathability in that particular part of a woman's anatomy.
Damned if I could not get the thought of Captain Ed's ex girlfriends stinky cooter out of my head all day...

That has a nice ring to it...sort of like a series of kids books along the lines of Captain Underpants...but for adults....
"The Amazing Adventures Of Captain Ed's Ex Girlfriend's Stinky Cooter"

Ok, maybe not.

But I digress. Yet this is the same guy who is only too willing to make fun of the fact that I drive a Miata.
Really, Captain Ed?
In fact I get a lot of crap for that. It turns out driving a Miata makes me gay.
I would have thought having butt-sex with other men would have been more of an indication of whether I am gay or not, but there you have it, a car made me gay.
Oh and did you know that skateboard shoes can make you gay as well? It's true because I get told that several times a day.

My point is, here you have all these weird characters ( last night a guy asked me to take a picture of his tomato and then print him a picture of it...more about that later) and yet if you deviate slightly from what everyone else is doing they can't help but give you crap about it...just like Jr. High...
Look at him he's doing something different than the rest of us! What a weirdo!

In my new jacket I got asked if I was going racing, I got called Motorcycle Mike ( I responded "It's Motorcycle Michael" ) and , my favorite, Speed Racer.
I had to inform the person that I was actually Racer X because it's a black jacket, not white.
Plus, like Racer X, I am much more likely to do something mean to you for no reason, unlike Speed Racer.
Speed Racer was a pussy.

But not a funky one like Captain Ed's Ex Girlfriends Stinky Cooter.