Can you take a picture of my tomato?

I was standing around talking with some people when Doug walked up carrying a tomato.

Let me describe Doug first. He is in his 50's. He has been smoking for about 45 of those years and he looks like it.
You know how Pig Pen walks around with a cloud of dust trailing behind him? Well good ole' Doug has a smoke cloud. Walking behind Doug is like driving behind a poorly maintained diesel.

So Doug walks up and in his raspy voice says "does one of you have a camera phone to take a picture of my tomato for me?"
WTF?
" What I am supposed to do, email you a picture of your tomato?"
" No can't you just go down to Wal Mart and have a print made?"
"Hang on, you want me to take a picture of your damn tomato, drive down to Wal Mart and have them make a print for me and then bring it back to you? Why the hell would I do that?"
he holds out the tomato
" Because it has a funny shape and I want a picture of it before I go eat it."
" By funny shape do you mean the fact that it looks like an ass?"
" well...yeah."
" Get your ass and your ass-shaped tomato away from me Doug"

These are the kind of weirdos I work with.