Your kids start from day one trying to make you lose your mind.
It's psychological warfare.
It begins with the sleep deprivation and continues through the OCD behavior. I suspect that they don't really want to see Toy Story for the 1,000 time but they know you might not be able to live through one more viewing...( I have a beef with Toy Story, don't get me started on that one.)
At some point you have to fight back to keep your sanity.
When turbo was little that Fat Boy Slim song....."right about now the funk soul brother, check it out now the funk soul brother"
If you would insert his name instead of ' brother ' he would be apoplectic.
It was awesome.
He and I had this game that we played. Wind And Storm. We were super heroes.
He was Storm:
It's psychological warfare.
It begins with the sleep deprivation and continues through the OCD behavior. I suspect that they don't really want to see Toy Story for the 1,000 time but they know you might not be able to live through one more viewing...( I have a beef with Toy Story, don't get me started on that one.)
At some point you have to fight back to keep your sanity.
When turbo was little that Fat Boy Slim song....."right about now the funk soul brother, check it out now the funk soul brother"
If you would insert his name instead of ' brother ' he would be apoplectic.
It was awesome.
He and I had this game that we played. Wind And Storm. We were super heroes.
He was Storm:
,
I was Wind...he named the characters.
In fact the whole thing was of his devising. He wrote the script I just played my part. It was played almost entirely in the car, driving to school, from the babysitter etc.
Here's the thing, as Wind I had the power of wind. So mostly I was limited to knocking things over.
As storm he had all the power of a storm...you see where this is headed?
I was the damn sidekick!
He had wind, lightning, hail...the list goes on.
I was the frickin' driver for the most part. He'd say "Wind that white car is following us, lose him!"
In fact the whole thing was of his devising. He wrote the script I just played my part. It was played almost entirely in the car, driving to school, from the babysitter etc.
Here's the thing, as Wind I had the power of wind. So mostly I was limited to knocking things over.
As storm he had all the power of a storm...you see where this is headed?
I was the damn sidekick!
He had wind, lightning, hail...the list goes on.
I was the frickin' driver for the most part. He'd say "Wind that white car is following us, lose him!"
And then I'd floor it.
He would try to get clever once in a while, "Wind, I didn't like the school lunch today, pull into this McDonalds!"
When I got sick of being the sidekick I would start talking in this exaggerated super hero type voice...he'd say "Wind, I think I see an enemy up ahead!"
I'd say "I SEE HIM STORM!" in this really deep, old timey radio-play kind of voice.
"wind use your normal voice"
"I AM!"
"No that's not how wind talks!"
"BUT THIS IS MY VOICE!"
"no use your normal voice!"
"INDEED!"
"dad!"
(normal voice now)
"yes?"
"see, that's how wind talks"
"LIKE THIS?!"
"NO!"
You see how that works?
He would get sooo pissed but Screw it.
When I got sick of being the sidekick I would start talking in this exaggerated super hero type voice...he'd say "Wind, I think I see an enemy up ahead!"
I'd say "I SEE HIM STORM!" in this really deep, old timey radio-play kind of voice.
"wind use your normal voice"
"I AM!"
"No that's not how wind talks!"
"BUT THIS IS MY VOICE!"
"no use your normal voice!"
"INDEED!"
"dad!"
(normal voice now)
"yes?"
"see, that's how wind talks"
"LIKE THIS?!"
"NO!"
You see how that works?
He would get sooo pissed but Screw it.
I'm the one with the drivers license, how come I gotta' be the damn sidekick?
1 comment:
'cause duh, when you're the one that makes up the super hero game, you can be as all-powerful as you want. you just gotta come up with the game first. although he may be way too cool for games now.
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