Jamie

I made mention of the fact that I work with a woman named Jamie that is a bit of a bitch.
I'm fixin' to talk about Jamie.
She is nonstop drama. Some people are like that everything has to be a big fucking issue. Whatever.
I realized pretty quickly that everybody is automatically on her shit list and I tried to get off that list by being cool with her...that was a mistake.
I decided that if I'm on the shit list I may as well do something to get on that list. You know, be proactive?
So I spent the better part of a day antagonizing her...and we got along famously.
Then the next day whenever I would ask her to get a phone for me (I won't bore you with the details but inventory has been going missing and so now if I want to replace someones' phone I have to go through someone else to get the thing)
So I say, "Jamie, can you get me the phone for Jones please?"
she says, "Umm no. Do you need anything else?"
So I say " get me the damn phone, Yo!"
and she laughed and got me the phone.
So that worked.
Then later, same situation, I need a phone and I know she is going to give me shit again so I walk up and say "woman! get me the phone for Smith!"
She laughs even harder than the first time and gets the phone.
This is progress for us.
The other day she comes into the back room and sees me watching TV on mu phone with only 5 minutes left on my break. She says something about "youdon'twannabewatchin'noTVwhenyouonlygot5minutesleftyoubettah'eat!"
When a woman talks to me like that I can't even hear it. It's like when Rosie Perez goes off....
I make eye contact with the manager and she is smiling at me. I ask, in a voice loud enough for Jamie to hear "What ethnicity is she?"
Racheal says, "Jamie? She's white."
I say, "hmm...'cause when she starts speaking Peurtorican I can't understand her."
Jamie goes ballistic and repeats what she said about my "5 minutes" at close to maximum volume and, out of politeness, half the speed.
One of the funny things about this whole affair is I tell Cindy about all this and she says "are you two flirting?"
Enh, no.
I have to say that is not a bad guess though...many times my flirting takes the form of verbal combat....but not in this case, not at all.
So today, I come into work on my day off. I got a text from the boss that DJ called in and they are short. So I show up to cover lunches and get a little OT. I log into DJ's station which is right next to Jamie. Somebody says something about me being in the back of the store instead of where I usually house..up front.
I say yeah "I'm rolling with the 6-7 Mafia (I am at station 6 Jamie at 7)
Jamie laughs hard enough to pee a little.
Then later somebody else makes a comment about me hanging in the back....I say "aww hell no, you fuckin' wit' the 6-7 mafia!"
Jamie loses a it a little bit more.
I swear, if I keep this up, we may end up homies.