Best Customer Evah!

I deal with a lot of irate people in my job. The more bent out of shape and rude people are to me the more I go into passive-aggressive mode. When I'm at work I don't have much of a choice. My normal mode during any sort of confrontation is aggressive-aggressive as anyone who knows me personally will attest.
I had one of the best experiences with a customer the other day. I was overjoyed...it was so much fun.
A kid with pierced lips and a nasty concert t-shirt and his 3 stupid friends came into the store and dropped off his phone for repair. An hour later he came back to pick it up and instead of getting on the wait list like everybody else he stood around for a while goofing around with his dumb-ass friends. When he realized someone wasn't going to walk up to him and ask how they could help him he went up to Jamie and said, "I'm late for work can you get me my phone?" in a very abrasive manner. Which is exactly the wrong way to approach Jamie.
(I haven't written about Jamie yet...I know I will at some point though. Jamie kind of looks, sounds and acts like....I guess the best way to describe her is if Rosie Perez had an older sister...but waaaay bitchier. In case you don't know who Rosie Perez is, she is an actress who plays almost exclusively really bitchy Puertorican girlfriends. She's always the girlfriend and always a bitch. Jamie could give her bitch lessons.)
So they go back and forth about him not being on the list and she finally says give me the ticket and goes to grab his phone. I am loitering innocently in the back room and Jamie approaches me "you need to go give him his shit because I ain't tryin' to put up with his sorry ass."
I say "sure" for 2 reasons
1. I am doing my best to remove myself from Jamie's shit-list. It seems that you have automatic enrollment on the shit-list and getting off of it requires diligence. I made small strides recently during the staff meeting when as I was speaking she made snoring sounds and I responded with "get the fuck out of here, I have one thing to say and I have been listening to you ramble on about your bullshit all morning" She's like one of those bullies that will be your friend if you stand up to them.
2. this might be fun.
Here's why it might be fun: his phone is not fixable. We have to replace it in the store with a new one, but we don't have the phone in stock...so we have to order him one. He's not going to be a happy camper and Jamie has already pissed him off.
So, I grab the phone and I walk out front and Jamie says, "he's going to help you over there" and she points.
So we go to my work station
Me: unfortunately the technician was unable to fix the phone so I'm going to order you a replacement.
Pierced Face Kid: what!? I wasted 2 hours and you didn't do shit with my phone?!
Me: well I wouldn't say we didn't do anything. The technician did assess your phone and conclude it's unfixable. I can order you a replacement.
PFK: Replacement?! I need a fucking phone now!
Me: I can order you one...
I don't think I actually got to say that whole sentence.
PFK: What the fuck am I supposed to do!?
now here is where I start to have some fun with it
Me: well I think you have 2 options. You can let me order you a new phone. Or, you can take the phone that you broke beyond repair and leave.
PFK: FUCK YOU! I'm late for work motherfucker! You people made me late for work!
he then grabs the phone and begins to stomp out.
He gets a few feet away, the whole time yelling expletives, and I say, "have a nice day"
He yells "FUCK YOU!"
He gets to the door and I say, "buh bye" and make a little wave with my hand.
He kicks the door open and says:
"SHUT THE FUCK UP STUPID!!!"

Ok, at the time I thought that was pretty funny.

But here's the blowback on this one ...for a week now at least a few times a day I try to ask a question or make a comment and somebody shouts at me
SHUT THE FUCK UP STUPID!!
that's not happiness for me, I have to be honest.