Chick Norris

I got a text from Cindy yesterday:
Fucking Ridiculous! I just pulled a Chuck Norris!

I can't say I wasn't extremely intrigued.

She went home for lunch. She decided to use the facilities before going back to work.
(I support that decision. I go at home whenever humanly possible. Public restrooms are so unseemly.)
So she attempts to do the next natural thing which is leave...and she can't. The door isn't locked, it's stuck. She calls to her mom to help her out.
Reports are sketchy, eyewitness accounts vary.
We still don't know exactly what was transpiring on the other side of the door...we do know her mom was attempting to use scissors to free her from the bathroom.
It became clear that no help was forthcoming from the other side so she decided to take the pins out of the hinges and pull the door out from the other side. Her mom had opinions about this. To which Cindy responded, "Well, clearly you can't get me out of here!"
So...she gets the pins out and ...nothing.
She decides to climb out the window.
Hang on. You have to understand, she's on lunch. She has to be back to work.
Calling back and saying, "Hey, I'm not going to be back in today, I'm stuck in my bathroom" is not the kind of thing you will realistically be able to live down any time soon. Every time you go near a bathroom someone will offer to "spot you". It's just not possible.
So she decides to go out the window.
But, of course she's wearing a skirt on this day, so going out the window and possibly showing the neighbors your big girl underpants, is not an option.
She calls her mom back to the door and has her stuff under the door something to cover her legs...pajama bottoms.
So, instead of piling out the window in a skirt she piles out in a blouse and pajama bottoms....I have to be honest, I have questions about which is more dignified.
So, she gets a quarter way out the window and realizes it's actually pretty fucking far to the ground.
So she calls mom again. Mom puts a stepladder underneath the window.
She climbs out the window and ....
this may be the moment she lost her shit.
She goes into the house and at a run, kicks the fuck out of the bathroom door.
Kablam!
The door drops in one shot.
She was mad at that door!
That door got a round house kick to the face!

Then she went back to work and I got a text:
Fucking Ridiculous! I just pulled a Chuck Norris!

Today I got another text:
I just had to Chuck Norris Sandra out of the bathroom!
Turns out her 15 year old daughter got stuck in the bathroom.
I can't tell you how gratifying it was to hear that two days in a row my friend went
Kablam!
....on a bathroom door.
I know that from now on, if I ever get in a situation that I need to fuck up a door, I don't have to do it myself, I have a friend that can do it for me.
Doors?
Don't be so smug, I have a friend.

ps: the second best thing about this story?
Sandra on her cell phone,
"umm hello, I'm locked in the bathroom?