Uzo and Uni or why you should never eat foods begining with the letter U Part Two

So the plan for Sunday was lunch at Jake and Telly's 15 year anniversary party and then antiquing.
After lot's of lame directions from me, we got to the restaurant.
( I have the worst sense of direction in the world. The only person worse is Turbo, and that's only because, in addition to having my terrible sense of direction, he has his mothers terrible vision. Word to the wise? If you find chicks in glasses hot? Good chance you will wind up with a kid that wears glasses.)
We hit the buffet and I constructed an replica of the Empire State Building out of food. I have to be honest, I had to quit piling food on before I even got to the end of the line because I had structural integrity concerns. I really didn't want to get trapped under a foodslide.
Then?
Cindy excoriated me for my Universal Buffet Theory!
I should explain.
The whole "all you can eat" thing sucks for me because I can't eat all that much. I'm more of a small meals kind of guy.
So when presented with a buffet I take a lot of different food and I sample and determine what I like and then go back and get some more of that.
So, my bad, I wasted a bunch of food.

We were sitting about 8 feet from this lamb spinning over an open fire.
I was afraid I was going to have to make a scene to get them to stop cooking it and start serving it.
Finally they took it off the spit, dropped the thing on a table and I watched C's face as she watched them butcher it....there was lots of cringing.
We got back in the fuckingly long buffet line in the hope we'd finally get some lamb. I was there for the lamb dammit! I think when we walked in the door and the lady "said how many?" I said "where's the lamb?"
So we're back in the buffet line and I notice something.
The funny thing about these kind of events is that it really brings out the Greeks. I never knew there were so many Greeks in the Springs. It's like they live among us, silently hiding their Greekness. I bet if you run into a Greek any other day of the year and said "are you Greek?" he'd be all, "What!? No I'm Italian and Irish. That's funny...Greek"
But get them all together and it's Big Hugs! Opa!
(I kept saying "man these people love them some Oprah" whenever there was a particularly boisterous opa!)
In line I noticed a woman with so much makeup on that Tammy Faye Baker would have counseled for a little restraint. I turned to Cindy, " Have you heard about this new product Revlon has? It's a shotgun shell loaded with makeup that you have your friend shoot you in the face with. It's a real time saver."
I got a courtesy laugh and then a real one when she caught sight of the lady.
Cindy asked me what she did for a living. I said "Mary Kay?"
She rolled her eyes, "She ain't driving no pink Cadillac"
So we finally get through the line and guess what?
No Lamb.
So we dejectedly went back to our table to find some chick walking around dishing out lamb to these fuckers that just showed up. And she was already past our table. I was in danger of punching somebody and Cindy looked as if she might begin stamping her feet and yelling "I want lamb!"
This was a potentially dangerous situation.
I flagged down our waitress. "We seriously need some lamb."
I have to say once we got the lamb?
It was The Bomb.
Then a friendly, hairy man came around with little shots of uzo. Cindy asked what it tastes like. I told her it's like licorice.
She said, "can't they just give me a bag of licorice instead?"
I convinced her it was part of the fun and so she agreed to do the shot.
We both yelled out Oprah! and did the shot. Just as I remembered: fiery, horrible, licorice flavored gasoline.
Cindy very daintily picked up her water glass and spit the uzo out.
It was like adorable.
"You like that shit?" she said incredulously.
"Fuck no! I hate uzo, but it's part of the fun."
"Note to self, do not try new things begining with the letter U"
Word.

I have to say, that lamb was so good, I was tempted to stuff some in my pockets for later...but I really didn't want to be brushing up against Cindy all flirty-like and have her say, "what's that smell?"