On the lot

Funny stuff happens on the lot every day, I really should make a point of noting them here.
So, a couple of funny things yesterday?
We are going through this process of become a Signature Dealership. Every manufacturer has a designation like this, Subaru is Stellar Performer, Nissan is Owners First Circle Of Excellence...whatever.
It just means you have all kinds of systems and procedures in place to give an above average customer service experience...again, whatever.
So we are having this meeting to discuss things that need to be changed.
So, we are discussing the way in which you direct someone from the sales area to the service department. Instead of pointing and saying "go down that hallway, turn the corner" ...etc.
You are supposed to walk with the customer, making pleasant conversation along the way, and then introduce them to a service adviser. Fine so far ...
unfortunately in corporate speak this is a "Warm Personal Transfer"
Really?
You want me giving the customers a Warm Personal Transfer?
Oh, I'll give them a Warm Personal Transfer!
Just not here in the service drive, that's gross...we're gonna go back to my place for the Warm Personal Transfer...
Ahh how times have changed...You know with everybody being P.C. and all....when I was in high school they called it the Hot Beef Injection...

Anyway.

So we have this new guy, well actually we have 2 new guys, one has a Business Mullet, and the other looks like Michael Douglas from Falling Down. If he shows up to work with a duffel bag I am sooo running for my life.
The funny thing about Rick (Business Mullet) is that he coaches hockey. Not funny in and of itself, but funny because the Business Mullet is the favored hairstyle of hockey coaches.
Do they require you to have the hairstyle to get the gig? Makes you wonder.
But the second guy? I don't know what his name is. Every time somebody wants to refer to him and differentiate him from the other new guy they say, "the new guy, the Canadian, not Rick"
So he has proved himself to be a tool to me and I am doing my best to ignore him. Trust me, I could tell you How I know he's a tool but it's a boring story.
So I'm sitting there texting my friend Cindy and he's loitering nearby. Mike walks out the door and makes a sound like he's annoyed to have to be walking outside.
Canadian New Guy says, "he seems impatient with the customers"
(without looking up)
I say, "It's because he's gay"
"He's gay?"
"Yup, totally gay"
I can tell he's a little perplexed. Mike is gay, so it's fun to tell new guys he's gay, because he seems straighter than me. It sends them into a bit of confusion, "is he gay? Are you just fucking with me?"...
"Umm, do you mean literally, or physically?"
Now..... I know he means "figuratively", but he asked "physically."
So I say,"Both literally and physically"

And then I hit send on my text and walk away.